0 Make over for ID and passport photo

Do you wear your face with special makeup if you are going to shoot for ID or passport photo? Or do you let your face be just a plain Jane for it? Because you're too scared that you looked fake in those photos? But, if you put too much, i am afraid that you are not going to pass any customs with a drag queen looks. In case you are too lazy to touch up when you going up on airplane.

 Well, do you laugh silently when looking at your driving license's , passport's or ID 's photos? I don't know about you but, i think my look on these documents often looked less good than the pictures i uploaded for Facebook or my any social networks. Maybe i can blame it on the angle and the plain-ess of my face.

We could not choose our best angle when shooting passport photo. If only! Ha ha ha...i really don't think that it is going to happen ever. If you cannot choose your best angle, well please do yourself a favour to at least touch up to highlight certain features on your face. Because! You gotta looked at least you did wash your face after waking up before getting shoot for this. Often, we looked too tired, too pale, or worst , you can't really recognize the person in that picture.

Here's what you can do. First, you gotta aim to look fresh and lively. You do not want to put too much on your face unless you want to look like a drag queen. Passport photo tends to capture every tiny dots details on your face moreover, you have to face STRAIGHT to the camera.

Wear foundations. Cover those flaws with concealer especially the undereye. Remember to blend them well because you don't want your skin to look cakey. Powder up to set up the canvas. 

Then, shape your brow. I prefer using the cake brow liner rather than the pencil. It looks more natural and sometimes i can skip the need to brush my eyebrow after filling it. 

Now the most important part is contouring. Contouring could makes your cheekbones looked higher, and gives you the healthy radiant look. I am using bronzer from Body Shop.

It comes in tiny balls...they are very fragile though but, they has a sponge to hold it from breaking inside the pot.

Use a bronzer rather than pink /peachy blusher on your cheek. Using a slant brush , smile and brush it on the apple of the cheek.  Brush the bronzer to your jaws too.This will give the illusion of a slimmer face.

Then, by using bronzer, or one shade darker concealer than your skin, or soft brown eyeshadow contour your nose. Different nose shape needs different contouring on the nose parts. By contouring the nose, it will give nice balance of your whole face, nose and your lips. Do not forget to highlight the bridge of your nose after shading the sides of the nose.

When applying your foundation earlier, let it also touches the lips a bit. Apply pink lipstick to the inner of the lips, then apply pink/mauve/peachy or nude lip gloss to the entire lips. Your lips will looked like you are just being kissed.Heee...or at least looked naturally healthy pinkish or looked pale like you have just have a bad encounter with a vampire who sucked up all your blood.

For your eyes,apply neutral colours.Use brown and highlight your browbones.Finally,never leave the house without mascara.Do not forget to apply for lower eyelashes to give the illusion of brighter and more opened eyes. Brush the upper lashes first and without dipping into The tube again,brush the lower lashes.This is to avoid the mascara from getting on your skin.

It is best not to wear any colored contact lenses and if you are wearing glasses on regular basis , yes you may wear it for shooting ID and passport photo.

Hair is the crown for everyone. I think it is practically safe that your hair get the evergreen make over. I mean styles that never aged. Avoid tying it up, or braided it. It is best that you let loose your hair and when it is time to shoot, put away your hair from the face by pinning it behind your ear. Remember to bring your mini hair comb with you so that you can tidy up any flyways.

Before you going to face the camera, blot away shines and powder up. Look to the camera and smile!

0 Going on a Picnic + Portraits

I am not known as a picnicker but, there is always first time for everything. My family and i went to Tips of Borneo ( Simpang Mengayau) , Kudat last Saturday. I was hesitated at first because i know that this place is amazing but, there is not much to do there if you are not a surfer , if you are not staying at the chalet there other than dining around there. Mom did not approved the idea to stay there, she was too worried if my little son cannot adapt to the new place. So, she makes us to go picnic there. Some of relatives who been there few times, agrees that picnic is the best way to go. 

I really didn't ready  much for the whole thing. Mom basically prepares all the food from home. Nasi briyani, fried sausages and tempura nuggets. We got many snacks and sweets with us too. While my aunt, cooked fried noodle, fried rice, salted fish and the scrambled eggs. They got many local delicacies too that i do not even know the names though. *blush blush

So , after that day, i was kinda imagining if we could do this again and do it better.Here are some tips that you might want to put into your check list before going on a picnic to have a perfect one. Well, our picnic was not that perfect but, i thought that there are lots of things that can be done if we are planning on going for picnic again.

To ensure an enjoyable, delicious simple food, comfy and still looking good...
You must

Never forget a spread,tablecloth but our humid country it is better to bring mat to spread on the ground. So, it will be easy for us to gather around with the food in the center. Forget the little messy cabanas by the beachside. You can find many of it in Malaysia's beachsides. It is best if you could find your own perfect spot to sit down and enjoy.

Umbrella. Big one.

Finger food or anything as long as they do not melted or will 'rot' under the heat of the sun . Fruits are the best desserts for a picnic.

Frozen drinks. When you are ready to drink, they will still taste cool.

To keep the kids happy,bring their favorite snacks.

Wear sunblocks though it may seem cloudy,uv rays sting through clouds.

Flip flops.or Flats.

Common Sense,do not wear heavy makeups or you get the zombie wonderland looks when it's all coming down melt and CreasES.

I did not upload any photos of the picnic because we were too hungry to snap all the good food.

Check this out too.....

Photo rolls. I hope you enjoy it though maybe you do not know anyone here. They were more to portraits. What can i say, i love portraits. These are my lovely family..... I was so wanting to take group photos at the cut globe scuplture   but, there were just too many people there on that day crowding the iconic cut-off globe. Too many, and we had to take turns to take picture.

Chris looked upset because he begged so that he could walked on her own.

Steven and Chris.

Sisters!

There's always something about kids and their grannies , don cha think?

Chris with his upset look again. He was desperately bored and need to get down to the ground.

But, he does looked okay and when granny hold him, huh

Grannies and the kids

Mommy's little girl forever. Ha ha ha...

From top, Lister. From left, my only brother, William and friend, Sham.

And always my jewel....

With my handsome jewel who just can't wait for another snap . He really need to get moving right away.

My current Facebook cover photos... of course my personal profile one.

Tips of Borneo said to be the nicest beach in North Borneo, overlooking the South China Sea. Apart from the crazy cliff, beautiful rocks, splashing wave that attracts surfers from around the world, white sand beaches,  well accommodated it is just a beautiful serene places to go if you want to escape from the city. But, of course escaping means bumpy potholed roads in Sabah. You just can't get away with it especially in Northern Sabah.I won't want to go any further on that.

That's all. Hope you enjoy reading this entry. Til my next entry, chaw!

0 Choose Your Look for Valentine

So, it is Valentine again. This Thursday. You might see there are tons of tutorials on the web and YouTube for perfect Valentine's look. But this entry nothing about tutorials but this is just some suggestions on looks that you might be able to pull off for your special Valentine's night or day out according on the longevity of  the dating or kind of attraction that you want to exude during this lovely day or night out. I am going to the make up looks first.

Newly dating:
Pink Soft Look.
You need baby pink,highlighter,warm /sorbet pink,and brown/purple /grey at the outer corner of the eyes.  
This is the most preferable look on Valentine's. I picked it also for anniversary dinner as it looks effortlessly romantic and natural at the same time. 

 

Long term Relationship:
1.If you want to look romantic you can imply the same look like the above, but apply lots of mascara,or natural soft fake eyelashes. The pink soft look is seen as the most flexible one can pull off since it is easily can be wore during the day and extended to the night out. All you have to do, some touch ups and you are good to go for a romantic dinner with that special person. 

2.If you want to look sexy and sultry go for darker browns for the outer corner and crease with soft to medium brown. This look also can be brought from day to night out. Least favorable compared to the pink soft look since it quite neutral and we are already wearing it on daily basis. You might want to try different looks for this special night out if you already wearing brown for you make ups.

Single ladies night out:
Smoky black.
Just avoid the racoon eyes. Or you'll send message to men why you'd better stay single. Black should be at the outer Corner of the eyes only, forming 'v'. The eyelid filled with white while crease you can use grey eyeshadow. Have fun with your girls!

What to Wear

Choose dress that compliment the look that you want to achieve.Remember showing off too much flesh is not a way to go everytime. If you wear shoulder off tops then you might want to wear longer bottoms and vice versa.
I am pink all over.  I had  it from Something Borrowed, Zalora.Shoes are from Dolce Shoes , Zalora. Handbag unbranded. Got it from 138 Shopping Mall in Manila.

Hair

Go get yourself a hair treatment before Valentine night out to achieve shiny and soft locks. Show it off by letting loose your locks tonigt .Men loves women with long hair.

 

That's all from me for today. l don't think l am going out on Valentine's night because my husband is away working at the Northest Borneo.But we did our anniversary and advance Valentine's dinner las t Saturday.That's when l had the photO ,me in pink taken. Guess l will be home blogging on that night or spend quality time with family at home. By the way,l wish that you look your best on that night and have fun on your Valentine's day or night out.

0 Pilates workout for the abs.

I weigh at 45 kg before i was pregnant with my little son. That was story of two years ago. Now i weigh at 48 kg. Errm i am not sure though about the exact number but, it supposed to be around these numbers. 

After i gave birth, i did not really care about my diet or if i ever needed to exercise to burn the extra baby fat. I was at staggering 53 kg after i gave birth. It was too heavy for me as i am quite petite person, heightened 160 cm. After my son's gave up breastfeeding, i found that i still cannot control my eating appetite. So, my tummy is still bulging from bodycon outfits like modern baju kurung and i despise mini skirts.  I only wore fluffy dresses though. I did not bought any new jeans too. Because i was confident that my metabolism got it all under control. 

Boy,boy...after 9 months, i weighed at 52 kg...! I was 7 kg away from my pre-pregnant weight. That's when i realize that i could not rely on my speedy metabolism anymore. It just does not worked like before. I do not know why, i simply looked at it as perhaps my pregnancy just messed up the whole metabolism system. Don't get me wrong because i never hate to be pregnant. In fact, the 9 months period can be said as the most wonderful days of my life apart from having Chris in my world now. 

I came up with an intervention. I know that i would be too lazy for any outdoor exercises. But, there are plenty to do even indoors. Practising yoga or pilates are most popular. Yoga is too peaceful for me and not challenging enough for my cardio so , i choose to do pilates. Pilates got many moves that are especially targeting to tone specific body parts. So, i focused on the abdomen's workouts. Because the only thing that i hate on my body is the bulging tummy. I hate it because it is the ultimate wardrobe malfunction. Pilates not only enhance on toning the body but also it allows you to practise breathing. Like yoga too, breathing rhythm has effects on how you do each moves on the workout.

The abdomen workouts have many moves but, i only picked out the ones giving the ultimate punch and stresses to the tummy. 

The first one is , The 100. What you do is to Lie flat on your back and bring your knees into your chest making sure that the lower back is pressing into the floor. Keep your palms facing down and lift your head and shoulders up off the mat. Take your arms straight down by your side, palms facing down. Straighten your legs to a 45-degree angle (above), rotating your legs open from the hip and squeezing your legs and heels together. If you have a bad back, bend your knees a little. Breathe in through your nose for a count of five then out through your nose for a count of five until you reach 100. As you're breathing, pump your arms up and down 100 times keeping them next to your body and parallel to the floor.

My favorite one is the Single Leg Stretches,probably because it is the easiest. what you do is to lie flat on your back bending your left knee into the chest and lifting your right leg up to a 45-degree angle. Lift your head and shoulders up off the mat. Take your left hand to your right ankle and your right hand on top of your left knee (above). Tug the bent knee twice when it comes in and then switch hands and legs. Count 1-2 then switch so it's fast and controlled with your tummy pulled into your lower back. You might want to do 10 reps as a start,butyou can always increase it to 20 reps when you get used to it.

The hardest i thought it would be the Criss Cross but, this definitely give that punch and it really gives you the line in the middle of your abs. Ain't it what we dream of ? You start as lying on the floor. Your hands go behind your head with one hand on top of the other, elbows open, shoulders down. Lift your head and shoulders up off the mat as your left knee comes into your chest and your right leg is extended out at a 45-degree angle. Twist in your waist taking your right elbow towards your left knee (above). Remember to twist from the waist rather than just moving your elbow towards your knee. As you twist to one side, hold the position for three counts then switch to the other side for three counts. Do 10 reps.

Then, the roll up. what you do here is just getting up to sit from lying down position. Breath in as you get up,then exhale when you go back lying.There are few workout moves to end the sessions as the counter flexion but, my favorites is The Swan where you will start from lying face downward. Then, inhale as you pull your torso up,feel your belly button getting off the floor until finally your backbone end feIt pressed down to the floor. Exhale as you go back to initial position. You may repeat it until 5.

It is not like we must go out doors to exercise. There are plenty of workouts that is best done indoors too.And, of course there are many ways to get a toned abs. Apart from doing pilates, i watched my diet too. I did not cut out meals. But, i control the amount of it. I try to have as healthy breakfast as possible , big lunch for the energy kicks and light meals for dinner. I do not want to risk gastrititis, because though it does get better with some medications and milk, the one thing that i cannot bear is stomachache. 

I hope you find this entry useful as a guide towards better physical and health.. Let's have a fabulous body for the sake of the health!

0 Wordless Wednesday: My son turning 17 mo

My son is 17 months today! I feel sorry that i cannot be there for him. To treasure and mark this day, i decided to upload his photos that i recently took. He is not photograph loving type of person, maybe he is camera shy or he just do not give a damn on this taking photos matter. It is because he will always either look away from the camera or he is trying to poke into the lens.

Do you know how it is to take this photo of him, facing the camera? He is climbing on the staircase and i am waiting for him from the top of the stairs.

 Say cheese, little darling....

He just got this serious expression like me when he is up to something...

 

This is what i am talking about earlier. He will turn down his face when i am trying to capture his best moment catching some flying insects that goes into the house when it is getting dark. Errr...we are living in the jungle. Kidding. 

Maybe the flash is too much for him.

 

If this is the only way to make him look into the camera, then i will always have a blurry finger like that in his photo. He is trying to poke into the lens like i said earlier. Lets hope he will grows out of this. 

Gah, finally a photo of him turning to me when i called his name. Manage to take clear photo without blurriness.

That's it for today. Happy monthsary my little son.. Mommy and daddy love you very much.

0 My first Zalora!

Nah i have been hearing, 'like' on Facebook , receiving and deleting emails after finally i click to open my inbox from Zalora.com to see what they have to offer. It has become one of the biggest online shopping nowadays. We seen Zalora.com everywhere on the net. If you are a woman who loves fashion and SHOPPING  then you will feel intrigued by the offers you saw in the ads. My second anniversary with Steven is coming very soon which is next week and we planned to go out have a lavish dinner at a fancy hotel. Well i actually had booked it. Works are taking tolls on my time and i really do not have time to go around shopping malls to shop for my clothes. And i kinda really need a new dress for that night.      Uh , we have been married for two years but, of course every women in the world wants to look beautiful by their men. Well , if i were to go out during the weekend it'll takes so much time going in and out of fitting room and in the end of the day i need to bath and feed my son and play with him some more.. doing house chores...Wears me down ...i rather semi sleep together with my little son and surfing around for online shopping. So i thought to myself why not just get a fabulous dress online? So my first choice definitely from this ever sought after and widely advertised on the net , Zalora.com. . They of course have wide range of clothing for men and women , accessories, shoes, health and beauty care and also the home appliances. Delivery is also kinda fast , as fast as 3 bussines days even to Kota Belud, Sabah mind you. They even let us return the products within 30 days. Payment can be made either by direct debit if you have Maybank2u, CIMBClick or via credit card. Cash transfer also available but, after you made the payment, you have to fill in a form to fill in your transaction details. If you are transferring cash using this method, the cash will be credited to the Zalora's bank service the on the next working day and may take up to three working days. Zalora will only send you stuff you bought once the cash credited to their account. So, which method do you prefer? I remembered they also received payments via Paypal but, i am not familiar with it , anyway.   If you still want to surf around what i had bought from Zalora, check them out in the following photos...  

Three items one go! And i am loving what i bought.

This certainly will be my working shoes. It has comfortable  kitten heels which definitely will be useful when i have to go up and down three-storey class buildings.

I really love the details on this shoes...

I did try on this dress the other day but , took no single photo with it. Because i want it to be special on our anniversary night..will only post it ( i try) after the dinner. Heee..But, you can search it online based on the tag above.

I might pair the dress with this 5-inch heels but i am restless at the thought that i would looked taller than Steven....hmm

  Why , why it is always this long to take you to the point , right. The quality of the dress is so-so. What I  mean is that it is not so bad yet there are few slacks that cannot be ignored too. ....... while the shoes , i do hope that they'll survive with my ever changing tastes on shoes. These shoes from Zalora are not off branded ones  bought but they really felt comfortable under my feet though the black one are 5 inches high. Well i really wear some of really comfortable and fine shoes until they wear off ,alright. While some, while they were exceptionally beautiful, i kinda put them in the corner after some time( they must felt horrible) and only wear it occasionally. So usually they wear off themselves, rot in that shoe rack on their own. Kinda wasting money but, that's why i am being kinda savvy by rarely choose  expensive brands of shoes because of this bad habit!    Do you know other online shopping shop that works as well as Zalora around Malaysia or Singapore? Please do share and lets save our petrol by buying online. Hahaha, what a terrible calls i made there. Only make sure that you do not use it to cure depressions or heartbroken or you going to end up being caught in heavy debts.
Chaw, stay fashionable, ladies.

0 Can i drink myself to beauty?

I never believed the statement, with this you are on your way to have a beautiful, healthy and glowing skin. 

Well, do you? 

I think no matter what you drink, you eat, you swallowed, you chew ... no matter how good the stuff you are doing yourself to get that beautiful, glowing skin, it is all go back to the lifestyle you are leading. 

One cannot achieve the beauty that they dream of if they are not sleeping well , eat well and rest well. Though you have spend thousand ringgits to buy the best skincare, cosmetics and nowadays supplements. Spend and use. 

You gotta maintained the taking of skincare and supplements if you want the effect to last. Cosmetics always goes away in the end of the day, and at night it is only you and your dull skin. It is not wrong to have all these products with you. Apart of spending lotsa money on them, use them...

YOU HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR LIFESTYLE TOO.

Like most people said, 

sleep well.

rest well. 

eat well. 

smile.

hey, exercise too. 

If you are an 'owl' , drinker, smoker, stressing  yourself too much, and already have bad skin condition, you eat or wear whatever, it is not going to work y'all.  You are wasting more money only. 

So, before deciding on taking supplements you have to make yourself lead the right lifestyle first. Then, the effect will be optimized. 

So, when i decide to take a collagen drink as my supplement, i decide to change my lifestyle first. Instead of going to sleep at 1 a.m., i try my best to go to bed at 11 p.m.. I decide that my work stops at the time, and i buried in my mind that no matter what, nothing can't wait until tomorrow. So that, i can have my rest. Even during the weekend i got the urged to click my workload files on my lappie, i resist it. I choose to go play and have a good time with my little son. Or go out and shopping.

Instead of taking naps during my spare times, i do my pilates. It is so easy, and can be done right in your own bedroom. Well there are friends who asked me what did i do to get back in pre pregnant shape. I am sorry, i said , "nothing, just reduce my food consumption." Well that is true from a side. Pilates too is one of my secret to get to  my pre-pregnant size.  But, all i do is just the abs moves... the criss cross, the 100, single leg stretches, roll up, and the spine stretch...and one non-pilates moves, the push-ups just to remove my batwing! Don't you just hate the fatty skin just outside your underarm showing when you are wearing tube tank top? I hope to do an entry on the pilates moves that i have been practising because it works!

I even added to my diet , a collagen supplement for this new year. I am getting no younger. 

So, why i suddenly want to drink myself to beauty? 

I thought that my skin condition will get better as i aged, i mean my acne! It does come and go during the menstrual times of the month but, i realize that the scars are getting slower in healing. I noticed there are three worry lines starts to appear on my forehead too. Even when i wash my face , i can feel that my skin is getting no smoother by day. 

I decided to take the Kinohimitsu J'pan Beauty Drink 2500 mg. Well, it is quite a pricey collagen drink but, i think it is worth a try if i am really want to take care of my skin. I know that despite collagen maintains youthfulness of the skin , i will still aged but , at least this drink may slows it down. Duh, i am talking as if i am  40 already!  I knew that collagen drink does not only improve the face only but also to the entire skin body.

Now that i already took 16 bottles for about three weeks. Advised to take a bottle daily for 6 consecutive days, a bottle every two days as to maintain the effectiveness. I actually do see changes in my skin ! I think if i really watched out what i eat, and sleep earlier, it will do better.

Even only 6  days, i noticed that my skin felt smoother and looked radiant than before even without make up on. Wrinkles certainly does not disappear yet. I do not expect that kind of miracle to happen anyway. My pimple heals 3 times faster and less scarring. My skin feels plumpier and more radiant. Acne scars before i took this drink also disappearing.

So, my verdict YES,i can drink myself to beauty! But of course, with maintaining the intake , sleep well, and eat well. I saw the same collagen drink in Watson but with higher contents of collagen, 5300mg, Kinohimitsu J'pan Beauty Drink Diamond. I think i am going to give it a try too. Maybe i will looked like 16 again. Arghh, that is so shallow me. I do not even like my skin when i was 16. Trust me, i looked my best at my age now. Better than ever.  

After finishing a box of it which contains 16 bottles i actually can see difference in my skin. My skin feels refreshingly hydrated, and feel plumpier aside from my scars healing gradually. It does not remove my worry lines but my skin definitely has reduced breakouts. Pimple does show up during certain time of the month but it heals faster and less scarring.

Did i mention that it taste delicious? It taste like lycee because of the lycee extract they put it in. It is best chilled before drinking it. The product also suggested that you drink it at the same time of the day everytime you took it in to give the body opportunity to create a body clock for the supplements to be absorbed effectively.

So that's it for now from me. What is your beauty secret? Do you have certain beauty regime ? How do you maintain your health ?

0 Truth be told. I am a terrible mom. I am sorry, son.

What makes a terrible mom? Lets start from the worst since the title above already the worst kind you kinda expected from me. 

Beating up her kids.

Let her kids hungry.

Does not kiss or hug her kids.

Does not breastfeed? Arrh..you can't blame mom on this. Sometimes there are moms who just not created for this mechanics.

There can be thousands of reason why a mom called a terrible one. 

People already see me as a terrible mom since i went back to work. I have the heart to leave my beloved son at home to be taken care by his grandma and grandpa. His grandparents lived 112 kilometers  away from my workplace. This is the best i could  get transferred from Lahad Datu when i was still pregnant.

Why i did it? So many questions was being thrown at me and yes now people already stop asking because the world is going round and there are better thing to talk about other than how i raise my son. 

Why not i just hired anyone to babysit him when i go to work? There are two daycare centres in this district. One strictly for hospital employees and the other one is likely will take anyone's child as long as it is within their quotas. Why not i just sent him to my in-laws since they were all in the same district where am i working?

Money is definitely not the questions here. I invest in good money for the car's gases every weeks and even give my mom allowances for this most precious favors. I know there are not many grandparents who is able to do this for their children fulltiming when they aged. I just can't stand the thought that my son is going to a pre kindergarten  ( i know these day care does not force any kids to learn but, the situations there kinda feel like it) that young and be overwhelmed by other kids and adults whom i do not know their backgrounds. Plus, there is so much horrible things i heard of daycare centres! I know it is just number of them but, it is enough to send me shivers if my son were go to one of these daycare.

In-laws is the closest i have in this district.  But, forgive me in-laws.They are the most wonderful and kindest people i met in life.  I just can't let my son lived in less than i ever had when i can provide better for him. My family is not of silverchair blood but, i was brought up in a well sufficient environment. This is something i know that many people will if they can, stone me to death. I would say  that , the insufficiency of this place stops me from sending my son to my in-laws. I can only assure that my son will be better taken care of my parents for now. Enough said. I do respect and appreciate them as my family too.

So, i lived in the district where i am working now on the weekdays and every weekend i tried not to miss Friday nights with my son and spend quality time together during the weekends. So, my Monday blues and TGIF is nothing like to anyone else's .... i think. Err...my Monday blues is all about driving like a crazy woman to get to school on time and TGIF is also driving crazy like a blind woman , i try my best to get home before dark.  I have very bad vision driving at night by the way.

Deep inside this choice i made for my son, despite my husband is working further, i do feel guilty every breath i take. I feel like it is not right my son is not here with me. Seeing me going to work everyday. Picking him up from daycare. Feeding him, bathing him everyday, not only for the weekends and sing him lullaby. Breaks my heart every seconds i though of his smile, laughter, and him being grumpy. 

If one day my son will be able to read this,

 I am sorry , son. I really love you i can't stand the thought of you not being cuddled when you are fed, when you want to have you nap. Wondering who will hold you if you fell and cry, or when you just need to be, who will hand your favorite snacks, change your diapers, you know you could be ballistics when getting change. I could never trust people that much. That's why you never go to a daycare. That's why this entry is being posted now. Trust me, there is nothing like just spending time with you. Mommy always day dreaming about you being with me here. But, please know that, mommy loves you more than anything in the world. Mommy pray everyday that this situation will change. I do not know how will it change or how but, mommy will try to do the right thing for you always.